I often wish…

…voting with my feet literally meant I got to kick people in the genitals. It would mean that anyone who wanted to get into the murky world of politics would be sturdy enough of frame and character to withstand a good shoeing, or clever enough to just get the job done properly and with minimal cuntiness. Either way, it might save me from imploding with blind rage, as I am currently on the verge of.

If there are two things that get right on my ample bosom in this world, then it’s the ability of the fraudulent to get everywhere (they have infiltration skills that the secret service can only dream of harnessing) and Red Fucking Tape.

Both are easy to understand. Frauds sit at the centre of universes of their own making, manipulating their personas and the environment they wish to exploit for their own selfish ends. We’d like to see these people come to a sticky end quickly, but the fact is they are either charismatic and/or intelligent enough to push through their agenda with little opposition. Or off they fuck to exploit the next bunch of poor bastards who suit their purposes.

Red Tape, according to some, exists to protect the processes of democracy from mishandling. And that’s a fine and honourable sentiment (even when the practice is flawed) if you’re dealing with, for example, the workings of a large government department responsible for tens of thousands of pounds of taxpayers money. It has no place in voluntary organisations.

If you know me, which as this stage in my blogging life is highly likely, you will know that Art on the Street successfully operates on a voluntary basis, untroubled by frauds, red tape, fuckwits or worry of where the next Rioja is coming from. We favour a Four Musketeers approach, where the minute we cease to discuss the merits of getting our tits out for fundraising or stop cackling at roof-raising volumes we know our days are numbered. We do it all together, or not at all.

This is why Maidenhead and District Arts Council are fucked.

Last night was ‘The Great Arts Debate’, a meeting organised by MaDAC so that they may listen to the arts community and their membership to formulate a strategy for their future. In a nutshell, they have lost their anchor to the arts world (Norden Farm Centre for the Arts – a story that will have you headbutting your keyboard with the sheer tedium and futility of it all, so I won’t tell it) and they need to find a new sense of purpose.

Just to be one hundred percent clear: The body that represents the collected arts community in Maidenhead needs to find a new sense of purpose.

Hang on a minute…

*strolls into another room, calls the sideboard a fuckhead*

Sorry about that. Stupid shit makes me sweary.

The thing is, they inherently know their purpose, but someone has told them that they are wrong. The same person/people have also given them such a sense of insecurity that they are now scrabbling for the wrong kind of help.

Which takes us full circle to Frauds and Red Fucking Tape.

MaDAC is pretty big. It has a hefty membership and does things that can be seen. Theatre Groups, Visual Arts, orchestras, writing groups and everything in between (and a few that no-one can work out why the bloody hell they are members – like the National Trust. Go figure.). We have a loud voice, passion, determination, are used to being the underdog, have no issue with making fools of ourselves, are always skint and can evangelise our cause at length. The perfect mouthpiece, ripe for nurturing and perfectly placed for demonstrating the benevolent and sympathetic nature of local government.

It is long understood that suggesting a little discontent where there is none is a great way to utilise the hand-wringing, letter-writing and keyboard-slinging talents of the perpetually bored. Just ask the Daily Mail. And this is what is happening at our Arts Council. The seed of discontent has already been planted and the meeting was held to test levels of vexation and have a captive audience, ripe for the manipulating. An exercise in recruitment, if you will.

The reality is that there is no real problem that couldn’t be solved by the following:

Less knicker-wetting, bitch-festing and chucking around platitudes.

More following the constitution that already exists, giving more than an inch and getting to know each other.

Politics have no place in this and must be removed from what should be an apolitical organisation that exists for the best interests of the arts. we are not a platform to gain voters or political credibility. We are The Arts. We exist to ask the questions not cheerlead those who would have us think they know all the answers.

This is the MaDAC constitution. What’s all the fucking fuss about?


One thought on “I often wish…

  1. Seems straightforward to me but what the hell do I know ? Art on the street appears to fulfill all the criteria to be worthy of funding. But hey , you guys probalbly didn’t goto the right schools or have the correct political agenda. Remember , the arts are not for the great unwashed , so having the audacity to take art on to the streets ? Let’s keep the arts safe , elitist and throughly middle-class , accessed via a proper education and the pretentiousness to wax lyrical about a piece of unworthy work created by a St Martins college allumni , whilst deriding any form of street art ( graffitti ) or indeed, any form of art from or of the street. End of rant.

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