“I don’t always wear black, sometimes I wear nothing.” 

I am addicted to black. I should go to Black Wardrobes Anonymous. I am the woman who buys black dye thrice yearly to ensure all my blacks are equally black and avoid the hell of ‘clashy black’, which looks crap at the best of times, but especially so in Summer. Only science understands the suffering we… Read More “I don’t always wear black, sometimes I wear nothing.” 

“iPhone, iPhone, in my hand, can you get this bullshit banned?”

Forty something evangelists piss me off. Not the sanctimonious shouty types that wave their arms around and claim that Jesus solves everything (He doesn’t. I accidentally smeared silly putty on my pashmina this morning and no matter how many times I shouted “CHRIST ALMIGHTY”, precisely nothing happened until I ran it under the hot tap… Read More “iPhone, iPhone, in my hand, can you get this bullshit banned?”

FFS Fashion, don’t make me freeze my tits off too.

Fashion, my old friend, you and I need to have a serious chat. I love and respect your gleeful disregard for all that is practical and tasteful, aware that you squealed with abandon when H&M released those ludicrous collaborations with Alexander Wang and Kenzo. I forgive so much of this and more (see: Vetements), for… Read More FFS Fashion, don’t make me freeze my tits off too.