If my fuzz box had more personality, I’d pay it more attention…

This page was nearly empty. I think in total I have just sat for around three quarters of an hour, slack-jawed and wide-eyed after watching thirty seconds of television that have left me feeling like I need to put ‘Wilkinson Sword Ad Agency’ into Google immediately followed by ‘who can I report these cunts to?’.… Read More If my fuzz box had more personality, I’d pay it more attention…

You’ll never see a sloth in Homebase.

It often occurs to me that we’ve not exactly nailed this ‘being human’ malarky. Many humans are irritatingly clever and busy themselves with scary cerebral stuff, like particle physics and playing the violin. Others knacker about with less pressured pursuits (she types, whilst simultaneously pondering a rather smashing pair of shoes that are gracing the… Read More You’ll never see a sloth in Homebase.

Fashion is subjective, being a pillock is universal

Remember Bluetooth headsets? *pauses while everyone remembers… …taps foot impatiently while everyone falls about with laughter* They were literally The Most Excruciatingly Cunty bit of techno-accessorising EVER, right? Erm…well, not quite. While the unrelenting pace of fashion and technology habitually and periodically sees some of us fall to the wayside of not giving a fuck,… Read More Fashion is subjective, being a pillock is universal

MEN OVERBOARD! (another fine example of how the internet brings fuckwits together…)

Not so long ago, someone called me a misandrist and I had to look it up on dictionary.com. I giggled my tits off. And when I had finished jiggling up and down like Nursey from BlackAdder and had reapplied my eyeliner, I opened up the ‘notes’ app on my iPhone and proceeded to make a… Read More MEN OVERBOARD! (another fine example of how the internet brings fuckwits together…)